Writing is Dope

I have increasingly fallen out of love with Internet writing. It helps to pay extra on credit card bills, which is very nice. However, in the way I’m currently doing it, I just don’t feel the same spark, passion, that I used to. Even if I have an idea I am excited about when it comes time to write it I’m going through the motions. I’m constantly thinking, “I should be paid more for this… Perhaps I’ll just cut some corners and churn this out in a true content factory sense.” But, because my name is attached to it, I can’t ever force myself to write something quick and not care. It’s not the same anymore. I suppose I’m in “The Resistance” act of the Drake career arc. I remember when I wrote every listsicle that was pitched to me… the quality varied, but I was so happy to get the experience. Now, I have the experience but I’m just happy to get some money.

I’ve been in a rut for months. The video stuff didn’t pan out the way I wanted, and I am jaded. I’m looking for other avenues, other mediums. It’s a hard truth to face when you take stock of your situation and say, “Hmmm… the only marketable talent I have that I get enjoyment from is staggeringly not profitable.” LOL. Good one, God. You got me.

I’m 70 pages into a Young Adult novel, and I have several children’s book ideas I’m outlining. I’m writing jokes to try stand-up comedy. I’m mid-way through a rap mixtape. I’m evolving. I’ve found inspiration elsewhere. I’ve pretty much given up on the short-term reward of tweets and blog posts. I know there is an infinite ceiling on The Internet, but I feel I’ve hit some thick cumulonimbus cloud that is choking me, stopping me from going higher. I feel like I’ve got to start back at square one to get to the next level. I realized a long time ago that in this current climate you can only rely on yourself to make yourself a legend. There are no more mentors. There are no veterans cultivating young talent. That era is over. The onus is on you.

“I blew myself up; I’m on some martyr shit.” — Drake, The Resistance

I hope anyone who is thinking about “getting into the game” or is in it currently paid attention to my, at the surface, stupid “0 to 140" parody:

“Who else posts are all hits? They ain’t make me what I am they just poached me for the clicks.”

As a jester, you always hide the message in the joke. ☺

I started this Medium account because I need to graduate from writing personal shit on Tumblr. I’m 27. At this point, that’s kinda creepy and sad. I’ve made a covenant with myself to better myself, which includes writing for 30 minutes to an hour a day. I’m always so picky about writing.

I’m tired. I don’t have anything to write. I’m not inspired.

No more excuses. The only way to get better as a writer is to write more: You discover your weaknesses, your tendencies. Hopefully, this can be my outlet, a mini-journal/training camp. I hope that this will house my ramblings that are too real life to be paid for, but too toxic to not get out of my head.

I look forward to what the future holds here, even if it is complete watery garbage juice. I look forward to penetrating a random person’s heart (Did you know the only way to kill a dragon is to pierce its left breast plate? [I’m not entirely sure that is correct but a weird dude I was friends with in college once freestyle rapped this fact {and rhymed it with death rate} so I’ve always accepted it as fact]). I look forward to my journey, our journey.

Bauce Sauce is for the people.